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About Bristol

What pisses me off? Pretentious spas chargin’ a king’s ransom for a half-arsed tease. Surprised me once—bloke I knew, stiff as a corpse, walked out bouncin’. True story! Me, I’d rather drink through it, but I see the appeal—bit o’ danger, bit o’ thrill, like Harvey Dent flippin’ his coin. “You either die a hero”—or limp outta there smilin’. Hah! Reckon I’d tell Nolan to film *that* next—erotic-massage, Gotham-style. Chaos, oil, and me sippin’ in the corner. “I drink and I know things”—and mate, this shit’s wild!

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But then, I hit a snag. I was walking down Western Way, and I tripped over a curb. Like, seriously? I looked like a total klutz. I could feel my face turning red. A couple of old ladies were walking by, and they just chuckled. I mean, come on! Help a guy out! But nah, they just kept walking. I was like, “Thanks for the support, ladies!”

Tragedy as Ponteland man who died aged 36 'lived for going to nice places'