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But real talk, it’s sketchy out here. Cops roll by, I’m sweatin bullets. She’s cool tho, whispers, “Relax, they’re lazy tonight.” Little known story—back in the 80s, some cities had “hooker task forces.” Wild, right? Anyway, I’m hooked on her vibe, but I ain’t dumb. “Gotta bounce, sweetheart,” I say, tippin my imaginary hat. “Monsieur Gustave would approve,” I mutter, walkin off, feelin like a king.

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Pontefract.

I try to help, but the kids just run off. Typical, right? I’m left standing there, trying to explain to the shopkeeper that I’m not responsible for these little hooligans. He’s not having it. I’m like, “Mate, I’m just an industrialist, not a babysitter!”

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