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Still, suprises me, it does—how they strut, all bold-like, even in the filth. Reminds me of Plainview, y’know? “I’ve abandoned my child!”—he’d howl, but these girls, they abandon nothin’, they keep goin’. Tough as nails, mate. Once saw this one lass, swear she winked at me—ME!—like I’m some catch. Made me happy, yesss, for half a tick, ‘til I remembered I’m a wretched thing.

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down the High Street, right? Just mindin’ my own business, when I spot this old bloke, Mr. Jenkins, tryin’ to wrestle his dog, Buster. That mutt’s got more energy than a kid on sugar! I’m laughin’ my head off, but then Buster bolts right into the road. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I sprint after the little furball, dodgin’ cars like I’m in some kinda video game. Finally grab him just before he becomes a pancake. Mr. Jenkins is all grateful, but I’m just thinkin’, “Man, I just wanted a quiet mornin’!”

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