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Here’s the deal – you gotta be sharp. Some chick’s winkin’ at ya, smellin’ like cheap perfume, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, is this legit?” Raised eyebrow, “Know your role” – I’d spot the scam a mile away. Once knew a guy, swore he met a “lady of the night” who robbed him blind – left him with no wallet and a sob story. Pissed me off, man! How you gonna trust like that? Surprised me how dumb some dudes get when they’re thirsty.

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Then, I get this call from a guy in Plymstock’s The Ride. He’s yelling about a power outage. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s not the end of the world!” But he’s acting like it’s a zombie apocalypse. I mean, come on! It’s just a bit of darkness. I tell him to light a candle and chill out.

Fire rages at Saltram Meadow in Plymouth as worried locals look on