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“You get a car!” I’d scream,

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First call of the day, and it’s a bloke from Down Thomas. He’s all panicky, like, “My cat’s stuck in a tree!” I’m like, “Mate, it’s a cat, not a lion!” But he’s convinced it’s a life-or-death situation. I mean, come on! I’m trying to keep a straight face while he’s rambling about his “precious fur baby.” I told him to chill and call the fire brigade. They’re just down the road on the main drag.

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