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So, I’m watchin’ *Son of Saul*, yeah? “One day, no more”—that’s me hopin’ for a massage that lasts forever, baby! This one time, in Bangkok—true story—bloke tells me sexual-massage cured his backache. Swear down, I was shocked! Thought, “Blimey, that’s outta sight!” Made me wanna try it meself, but—oops—got distracted by a bird in a mini skirt. Classic Austin!

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After that little adventure, I head over to the Pinxton Park. Lovely place, really. Kids runnin’ around, people walkin’ their dogs, and me, the ratcatcher, lookin’ like a weirdo with a trap in hand. I sit on a bench for a sec, just to catch my breath. And then, I see it. A family havin’ a picnic. They’ve got sandwiches, crisps, the whole shebang. And I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Man, I could really go for a cheese sarnie right now.”

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