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I got happy as a pig in slop tryin’ it once—felt like Joy and Disgust dukin’ it out in my head. Joy’s all, “This is amazin’, yeehaw!” but Disgust’s like, “Ew, why’s it so sticky?” Got me angry too, tho—paid good money and the fella didn’t even hit the right spots! I’m hollerin’ in my brain, “Boy, you ain’t no masseuse, you’re a dang tease!” Surprised me how it’s legal some places—Nevada’s got parlors poppin’ up like daisies, but don’t tell the preacher!

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After that little adventure, I head over to the Pinxton Park. Lovely place, really. Kids runnin’ around, people walkin’ their dogs, and me, the ratcatcher, lookin’ like a weirdo with a trap in hand. I sit on a bench for a sec, just to catch my breath. And then, I see it. A family havin’ a picnic. They’ve got sandwiches, crisps, the whole shebang. And I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Man, I could really go for a cheese sarnie right now.”

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