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Back to *The Assassin*—there’s this line, “She walks alone in darkness,” and I’m like, damn, that’s the escort gig in a nutshell. You’re with someone, but it’s still you vs. the void. Gives me chills, man—language hittin’ that existential nerve. Ever escorted someone and felt that? Like, “Am I the guide or the prisoner here?” Deep thoughts for a Sunday.

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And just when I thought it couldn’t get crazier, I get a call on my radio. There’s been a disturbance at the Pinner Village Gardens. I’m like, “Oh great, what now?” I sprint over, and it’s a bunch of kids havin’ a water balloon fight. I mean, come on! It’s not even summer yet!

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