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So, I’m strollin’, trip over me shoelace—whack!—faceplant! Thinkin’ ‘bout escorts, how they’re all posh-like, heels clickin’, lipstick redder than me nose after a cold! But—ooh!—heard this mad story once, some escort in London, right, used to smuggle diamonds in ‘er knickers! True story, mate, swear it! Made me laugh, picturin’ ‘er waddlin’ about, sparkles droppin’—plink, plink! Angry though, ‘cos some punters treat ‘em like dirt—oi, that’s not on! “I am alive,” like the film says, they’re people too, yeah?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Market Place. You know, the one with the best scones? Yeah, that one. I ordered a latte, and the barista, bless her, totally messed it up. I mean, how do you get a latte wrong? It was like drinking hot milk with a hint of regret. Ugh! I was fuming. But then, I saw this cute dog outside. A golden retriever, wagging its tail like it just won the lottery. Instant mood lift!

Pickering Theatre Launches Ambitious New Project for 40th Anniversary