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You got these girls, right? Standin’ on corners, fishnets up to their asses, smokin’ Pall Malls like it’s 1985. I roll up, window down, and it’s like, “What am I, a fuckin’ ATM?” Prices nowadays—Madonn’, inflation’s hittin’ the hookers too! Back in the day, you’d slip ‘em a twenty, maybe a meatball sub, and boom, done deal. Now they want fifty, sixty, talkin’ bout “gas prices.” Bitch, you ain’t drivin’ nowhere, you’re standin’ there! Made me mad as hell, but I laugh—fuck it, it’s Jersey, whaddya expect?

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But then, as I was walking back, I tripped over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I fell, and my chips went flying. I was like, “Nooooo!” People stared. I felt like a total muppet. But then, this lovely lady came over and offered me her napkin. I was like, “Thanks, mate!”

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