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I try once in Almaty, lady say, “Relax, big boy,” I say, “Yes, make happy ending!” She rub my back, my legs, ooh, I feel tingle, like Oskar feel when Eli near! Little fact – old time, in Asia, they use sexual-massage for heal, not just fun, true story! I read this, shock me, cuz I think it only for naughty time, but no, it fix your soul too, very nice!

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After that, I head over to the local market on Marischal Street. It’s packed! I’m dodgin’ folks left and right, tryin’ to keep my pigs from makin’ a mess. You know how it is. I spot this old lady, bless her heart, tryin’ to haggle for some turnips. She’s got more fire than a bonfire night! “I’m not payin’ a penny over a pound!” she yells. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, it’s just turnips!” But hey, you do you, right?

Revealed: the true climate cost of new gas at Peterhead power station