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Now—escort’s got layers, folks. Not just hookers or bodyguards—nah. Did ya know? In Russia, deaf folks’d use signs to escort secret messages past the KGB! Sneaky as hell—made me proud, y’know? Hands flyin’, no sound—boom, mission done. But here’s what ticks me off—people think escort’s all sleaze. Ain’t true! Sometimes it’s just helpin’ a pal—or a stranger—get somewhere safe.

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I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, when one of the lads, let’s call him Dave, he shouts, “Oi! Swineherd! Wanna join us for a fish fry?” I’m like, “Sure, but I’m not eatin’ any of that!” I mean, come on, I’m a pig guy, not a fish guy. But the smell? Oh man, it was divine.

Paul Third: Patience pays off for League Two champions Peterhead