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So, findin’ a prossie—where d’ya even start? Back in MI6 days, I’d scope the scene, all cool-like, martini in hand. Shaken, not stirred, obvs. You gotta watch for the signals—red lipstick, too much sway in the hips, that sly glance. Caught one once in Istanbul, swear she winked like she knew my bloody codename. Surprised me, that did—thought I was slicker than that. Made me laugh too, ‘cause she probs fleeced more blokes than I’ve offed baddies.

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Suddenly, the elevator jolts. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I can’t have a panic attack in front of this poor woman. I’m sweating bullets, and she’s just staring at the ceiling like it’s gonna save her. I’m tryin’ to keep it cool, cracking jokes like, “Hey, at least we’re not stuck in a lift with a bunch of spiders, right?” She doesn’t laugh. Awkward.

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