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I finally find this chick, right? She’s standin’ there, smokin’, lookin’ bored as fuck. I’m like, “Hey, baby, you workin’?” She nods, all cool, says, “50 bucks, no weird shit.” I’m happy as hell—score! But then, motherfucker, she’s got this attitude, like I’m wastin’ her time. Reminds me of that dad in *The Return*—cold, distant, “What d’you want from me?” vibes. I’m thinkin’, “Bitch, I’m payin’ ya, smile or somethin’!” Didn’t say it, though—don’t wanna get stabbed.

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After that, I get this old bloke. He’s got a cane and a twinkle in his eye. He starts telling me about the good ol’ days in Perth. “Back in my day, we had proper pubs, not these fancy cocktail joints!” He’s ranting about the changes on South Street, and I’m just nodding along. I can’t help but feel a bit nostalgic.

Comedy Takes the Crown at the Guildford Hotel – Perth’s Mid-Week Must-See!