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Dunno, mate, there’s summat mesmerizin’ bout it—danger, cash, the lot. Ever hear bout the escort who scammed a duke? Took his gold, vanished—legend! Bet she’s out there now, livin’ large. Makes me giddy thinkin’ bout it—beats me boring stock charts any day. You ever tried it, pal? Reckon I’d be shite—too clumsy, too loud. *“I want to live!”*—yeah, that’s her, screamin’ it silently every night. Sex escort life, bloody hell—what a show!

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walking back, and I see this old lady struggling with her shopping bags on Morrab Road. I rush over, like a superhero or something, and help her out. She’s so grateful, and we start chatting. Turns out, she’s lived in Penzance her whole life. She tells me stories about the town, how it’s changed, and I’m just standing there, soaking it all in. It’s moments like these that remind me why I love this place.

Travellers 'wreck' Penzance youth football pitch after smashing through barrier