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Favorite bit? When they hit that spot—fuckin’ neck or thighs—and you’re moanin’ like a cow in heat. “There’ll be no dawn,” Saul says, but with this? Dawn’s fuckin’ everywhere, sunshine in yer bones! Hella better than cookin’ for ungrateful pricks all day. Ever tried it? No? You’re missin’ out, ya daft cow! Last time, this lass—pro, yeah?—she’s kneadin’ me, I’m thinkin’, “Gordon, you’ve peaked, mate.” Then she flips me over—cheeky mare—and I’m laughin’, “What a fuckin’ dish!” Total game-changer, swear down.

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I finally get to the office on The Square, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Classic. I’m standing there, yanking on the paper like it owes me money. I’m sweating bullets, and my boss walks in. She’s all smiles, and I’m like, “Lady, can you not see I’m in a battle here?” But she just laughs and says, “You’ll figure it out.” Thanks for the vote of confidence, right?

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