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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up The Fig Tree Café. Best sarnies in town, no contest. I grab a chicken and avocado number, and it’s pure bliss. I’m sittin’ outside, soaking up the sun, and life feels good. But then, I see this seagull eyeing my lunch like it’s a five-star meal. I’m like, “Back off, bird! This is mine!” But the little bugger swoops in and snatches half my sandwich. I’m left there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”

Fears Penryn town centre will go down the pan with sale of public toilet block