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So, escortin’, it’s old as dirt – fact! Back in Rome, they had fancy ladies, lupanars they called ‘em, brothels with style. Sneaky history, eh? Makes me grin, thinkin’ how little’s changed. Met this one escort, right, all sass, told me she banked 2k in a night – cash, no tax, bam! Made me jealous, yesss, “My precious!” – why ain’t I that bold? Pissed me off too, tho – she said some johns get creepy, pushy, actin’ like they own her. Hate that, I do, makes me wanna claw somethin’!

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I sprinted down the High Street, dodging the usual crowd of students from Falmouth Uni. They’re everywhere, like seagulls at the harbor. I swear, if I trip over one more backpack, I’m gonna lose it. Anyway, I’m hustlin’ past the Penryn River, and it’s lookin’ all pretty and stuff. The water’s glimmering, and I’m like, “Wow, nature, you’re kinda nice.” But then I remember I’m late, and that thought goes out the window.

Public notices roundup: Road closures in Falmouth and Penryn