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Oh, and get this – some old timer told me whores used to trade secrets back in the day, like spies or some shit. Adds a whole layer, right? Makes ya wonder who’s really pullin’ the strings. I’m sittin’ there, eatin’ cheesy poofs, thinkin’ bout it, and I’m like, “Seriouslah, this is nuts!” Anyway, if you’re dealin’ with whores in your biz, watch your back, keep your wallet close, and don’t trust nobody. “The boss isn’t always right,” like the rabbi says, but I am – so listen up, assholes! Respect mah authoritah!

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But then, I saw a bunch of kids playing football on the street. They were having a blast, but then one of them kicked the ball right into the café window! I was like, “Oh no, not again!” Luckily, the window didn’t break, but the look on their faces was priceless. They were all wide-eyed, like they just committed a crime. I couldn’t help but laugh. Kids, man.

'XL Bully' attacks two people and dog in Scots town as armed cops race to scene