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So – Escort. First off – cheap as chips. You’re broke? No prob. Slap some bucks down – bam. You’re drivin’. My buddy Tony – total nutcase. Had one – red, rusty. Called it “The Tomato Torpedo.” Swear to God – thing smelled like old socks. But – man – it ran. Through snow, mud – whatever. Like Theo in the movie – “Keep moving, keep fighting!” – that’s the Escort vibe.

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After that, I thought I’d check out the local market on the weekend. It’s always buzzing with life. I found this stall selling homemade sausages. I mean, come on! I’m a swineherd! I had to buy some. The guy was all, “These are the best in Penarth!” I was like, “You better not be lying!” But they were legit. I could’ve eaten the whole lot right there.

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