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About Leicester

Still, I get it—quick thrills, no strings. Had a pal, swore by it—happy as a pig in mud. Me? I’m over here dissectin’ it, wonderin’ why it bugs me. Maybe ‘cause I’m old-school—gimme meanin’ over moans. “If you leave me, I’m lost”—*The Master* again. Sex-dating don’t care ‘bout lost. It’s wham-bam, see ya!

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down Stanwell Road. It’s got all these cute little shops. I popped into this café, The Fig Tree, for a cuppa. Best coffee in town, no joke. I ordered a bacon sarnie, and it was heavenly. I mean, who doesn’t love bacon? But then, the barista, this cheeky bloke, spilled half my drink. I was like, “Mate, what’s your deal?” He just laughed and said, “Guess it’s a ‘latte’ mess!” Ugh, I rolled my eyes so hard.

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