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Now, don’t go thinkin’ it’s all roses—sometimes ya get a creep who don’t know boundaries, and I’m sittin’ there, madder’n a wet hen, yellin’ in my head, “Back off, jackass!” But when it’s good? Whoo, it’s like “the pale man” ain’t got nothin’ on this pleasure. Slap some oil on, let ‘er rip, and you’re golden! Git-R-Done! Ever tried it? Bet ya ain’t, ya chicken! Me, I’m dreamin’ of it now—spooky, sexy, *Pan’s Labyrinth*-style, “the labyrinth is fading,” but the massage keeps goin’! Y’all need this in yer life, I’m tellin’ ya!

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Next, I decide to head down to the canal. The water’s lookin’ all nice and calm, but then I see this group of kids throwin’ stuff in. I’m like, “Oi! What are ya doin’?” They just laugh and keep tossin’ rubbish. I’m fumin’. Like, come on, Pelsall’s got enough issues without ya addin’ to it!

Wild flowers attract rare bees back to Pelsall Common