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So yeah, findin’ a prostitute’s a circus – thrilling, shady, hilarious. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d rather watch Margot smoke in slo-mo than deal with amateurs. “I’m goin’ to bed,” Richie’d say – nah, I’m stayin’ up for this show! No capes, just cash, dahling – keep it fabulous!

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First off, I hit the road on Burnley Road, right? The sun was shining, birds chirping, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today’s the day I find a unicorn or something.” But nah, it was just the usual chaos. I parked near the Padiham Town Hall, and let me tell ya, that place is a real gem. Old school vibes, ya know? But the moment I stepped out, I saw this bloke arguing with a pigeon. Like, mate, it’s a bird! Chill out!

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