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Oh, and the oils—gods, the smells! Lavender, ylang-ylang—sounds like a spell, don’t it? Little secret: medieval monks used to sneak rose oil for “holy massages”—wink, wink. Bet they giggled like kids. Surprised me when I dug that up—holy hands gettin’ naughty? Love it!

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By now, I was getting a bit fed up. I mean, how many silly claims can one person handle? I decided to take a breather by the canal. It’s actually pretty nice there, with the ducks and all. I sat on a bench, just watching the world go by. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a football. He trips and goes flying into the bushes. I couldn’t help but laugh. Kids are hilarious!

Another 27 incredible photos from World Book Day in Burnley and Padiham (Chapter Five)