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So, escort’s my jam—happy vibes all day! Met this one chick, total babe, right? She rolls up, fancy car, all mysterious. I’m like, “Whoa, that’s what she said!”—cringey, I know, but I’m pumped! She’s got stories, man—said she once drove some dude cross-country, just ‘cause he tipped big. Little known fact: some escorts got secret codes! Like, they wink twice for “extra fun”—nuts, right? Blew my mind, I was grinning like an idiot.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Otley Chevin. You know, the hill that overlooks the town? It’s a proper gem. I’m hikin’ up, feelin’ all philosophical, like, “Nature is my therapy.” But then, outta nowhere, I trip over a rock. I mean, come on! Who put that there? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this old bloke walks by, chuckles, and says, “You alright, mate?” I just nod, tryin’ to play it cool, but inside I’m fumin’.

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