Lauren Oldham Whore ❤️

About Birmingham

So, this chick – let’s call her Mandy, cos why not? – she’s a right tart, workin’ the streets like it’s Carnaby Street in ‘66! She’s got legs up to her neck, a mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt, and a wink that’d make yer granny blush. I clocked her one night, struttin’ past the pubs, all “Oskar, be me, be me!” – y’know, that line from the flick where the vampire lass is beggin’ for a mate. Mandy’s the same, desperate for a punter, but she’s got this edge, yeah? Like, she’s not just a whore, she’s a bleedin’ enigma!

Collection RS24 - Oldham Papers

The year-old, who is pregnant, pleaded guilty to persistently loitering for the purposes of prostitution at Oldham magistrates court.

Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, in walks a bloke with a mohawk. I mean, a proper one. He’s got piercings everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s either a rockstar or just lost.” Turns out, he’s a local artist. He wants me to give him a “creative cut.” I’m like, “What’s that? A haircut with a side of abstract?”

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