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Brother, lemme tell ya bout escort, jack! I’m sittin here, milkin machines hummin, thinkin bout them escorts, ya know, the hired company kind. Ain’t talkin no Ford Escort car, nah, these are the pros, the real deal walkin the streets. Watched “City of God” last night—man, that flick’s got guts! “If you run, the beast catches you,” right? Escorts, brother, they don’t run—they strut, hulkin it up big time!

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First customer walks in. It’s Dave, the local footie fan. He’s got a wild mane, like a lion on a bad hair day. He plops down in my chair, and I’m like, “What’s the plan, mate?” He goes, “Just a trim.” But you know how it is. One minute it’s a trim, next minute I’m givin’ him a full-on fade. He’s buzzin’ about the Latics, and I’m tryin’ to keep up. “Did ya see the match?” he asks. I’m like, “Mate, I was busy cuttin’ hair, not watchin’ paint dry.”

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