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About Liverpool

Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves,” ain’t that posh? Fuckin’ mental, history’s wild. Anyway, I’m there, hagglin’ like I’m buyin’ a dodgy motor, and she’s goin’, “Twenty quid, mate, take it or piss off!” Laughed me arse off – she’s got balls, fair play. Reminds me o’ that line, “This is my place!” – she owned that street corner like Yubaba owns the bathhouse, y’know?

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So, I’m pacing around, trying to calm down. I step outside for a breather. The sun’s shining, but it’s still freezing. I see this old bloke walking his dog down Mill Street. The dog’s got a fur coat that looks better than mine! I can’t help but chuckle. Like, mate, your dog’s got better fashion sense than half the people in Oakham.

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