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Alright, comrade, let’s talk “find a prostitute.” Cold, calculated, straight to it—like Siberian wind. Imagine this gig, yeah? New profession, sneaky, old as dirt but shiny new in tech age. You’re scrolling X, bam—some shady profile pops up, “escort services,” winking emoji. Links to sketchy sites, pics half-blurred, you know the deal. Inside Out style—Joy’s giggling, “Oh, adventure!” while Fear’s screaming, “Abort, abort, Putin, you madman!” Disgust just rolls her eyes—typical.

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So, I grab my gear and head out. Walkin’ down Station Road, I’m feelin’ good. The sun’s out, birds are chirpin’, and I’m thinkin’ today’s the day I catch the big one. But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the biggest, muddiest one ever. My boots are soaked, and I’m like, “Great, just great.”

Firefighters called to blaze involving mattress and 'domestic items' at derelict outbuilding in Oakengates