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Gets me blood boilin’ sometimes, though. You’ve got these posh spas chargin’ an arm and a leg, all “tantric this” and “sensual that,” but it’s just a glorified back rub with a fancy name! Daylight robbery, I tell ya. Then there’s the underground lot – shady as a fox in a henhouse. Saw an X post once, some punter moanin’ he got a “massage” from a lass who barely spoke English, hands like sandpaper. Poor sod! Made me laugh, though – *quid pro quo*, mate, you pays your money, you takes your chance.

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Then, I head over to Elm Hill. It’s all cobbled streets and cute shops. I’m wandering around, and I spot this little vintage shop. I go in, and it’s like stepping back in time. I find this old vinyl record of The Beatles. I’m buzzing! But then, the shopkeeper tells me it’s 50 quid. I’m like, “Nah mate, I’ll just stream it.”

Forson's final day flourish a reminder for City