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About Bristol

Sometimes I think she’s messin’ with me, like when Boonmee’s kid turns into a hairy ghost – “What am I lookin’ at here?!” She’ll vanish for days, then pop back, all “Miss me, fatass?” Sarcasm’s her game, but I’m like, yeah, I kinda did, ya nut. She’s a trainwreck, but I can’t look away – makes me wonder if I’m the dope here.

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I stroll down the High Street, and it’s like a scene from a movie. People rushin’ everywhere, cars honkin’ like they’re in a race. I swear, if I had a quid for every time someone nearly bumped into me, I’d be rich! I mean, c’mon, it’s not like I’m invisible. I’m just a dude in a flat cap, but still!

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