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Now, don’t get it twisted—ain’t all happy-endin sleaze. Some purists say it’s sacred, like tantra shit, breathin deep, souls touchin. Me? I’m like, “gimme the oil and shut up!” Haha, nah, but real talk—it’s whatever ya make it. Surprised me once, tho—this guy, built like a tank, gave the softest rubdown. Expected a chokehold, got a whisper—life’s funny, Clarice…

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Then, just when I think it can’t get worse, I get a call from a lady on Westfield Avenue. She’s lost her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I’m tryin’ to save the world here, can’t you just look under the couch?” But she’s all frantic, sayin’ it’s a fluffy Persian named Mr. Whiskers. I can’t help but chuckle. Mr. Whiskers? Really?

Northumberland Line team provide updates on six stations ahead of December opening