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So, yeah, sexual-massage—messy, wild, worth it. “Facts are simple,” as Aldo’d say—ya want relief, this’ll carve ya up nice. Try it, don’t try it—up to ya, padawan! Me? I’m sold, long as it ain’t some sketchy joint. Peace out, gotta count credits now!

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After that fiasco, I head over to Church Road. I’m thinking, “This place is usually chill.” But no, not today. I get a call about a rat infestation in a café. I rush over, and the owner is losing his mind. “They’re everywhere!” he screams. I’m like, “Calm down, mate. I’m here to save the day.” But honestly, I’m starting to feel the pressure. I mean, who wants to eat a sandwich with a side of rat?

Northolt’s haunted house and walk through is back for Halloween