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I tried it once, okay? Matched with this guy, tatted up, lookin fine. We’re textin, he’s all “wanna chill?” I’m like, yas, let’s do this! But then—red flag—he asks for nudes before we even meet. Bitch, what? I ain’t Richie Tenenbaum, pinin over some creep! “You’re not listening to me,” I wanted to scream, like Royal yellin at the fam. Blocked his ass so fast, my phone overheated. Made me mad as hell—don’t waste my time, boo!

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After the cake break, we head to the North Walsham Museum. It’s small but packed with cool stuff. I’m showing them the old photos, and this one lady gasps. “My granddad used to live here!” she says. I’m like, “No way! Small world, innit?” It’s moments like that that make my job worth it.

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