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About Leicester

So, picture this—me, Ali G, rollin’ up in me truck, lookin’ for a bit of fun. Ain’t cos I is black, nah, it’s cos I’m knackered from haulin’ gear all day! Found this bird once, right, near a layby—proper sketchy spot. She was like, “Tenner for a quickie,” and I’m thinkin’, “Is you havin’ a laugh?” Bargained her down to a fiver—skills, innit! Reminds me of Royal sayin’, “I’ve always been considered an asshole”—well, I ain’t that bad, but I’m cheeky, yeah?

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Elswick, Byker, Walker, Meadow Well, Cowgate. These are the places I feel least comfortable. They're all safe, I've lived in most of them.

Finally, I get to work on a proper job. A van on the corner of Saville Street. The thing’s a wreck. I’m talkin’ rust, dents, the works. I’m under the hood, and it’s like a scene from a disaster movie. I pull out this part, and it’s covered in gunk. I’m thinkin’, “What the hell is this? A science experiment?”

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