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Oh, and the whispers, “relax, big guy,” – oof, gets me every time! Makes me wanna yell, “Here’s Johnny!” and flip the table, but nah, too good. Weird quirk: I hum Sinatra while they knead, keeps me chill. Best part? That moment ya float, like Monty’s last walk, “One more time around the block.” Pure bliss, buddy, try it!

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When I get there, the guy’s just standin’ there, lookin’ like he’s seen a ghost. Turns out, he’s locked his keys in the boot. I mean, come on, mate! So, I’m there, tryin’ to be all professional, but inside I’m laughin’ me head off. I get the slim jim out, pop the lock, and he’s like, “Cheers, mate!” Like I just saved his life or somethin’.

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