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Srsly, tho, it’s a mixed bag—some love it, some hate it, I’m sittin here ragin at the slime of it all. We hates it! Too close, too squishy, like a sea cucumber gone rogue. You tried it? Bet ya felt dumb after—tell me, mate, I need a laugh!

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After that, I get a call from a lady on Howard Street. Her car’s makin’ this weird noise. I roll up, and it’s like a scene from a sitcom. She’s there, tryin’ to explain the problem, but all I can hear is her dog barkin’ like it’s auditioning for a role in a horror movie. I’m like, “Lady, I can’t fix your car if your dog’s tryin’ to eat me!”

Aggressive drunk who locked himself in North Shields public toilets bit police officer during arrest