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We swears! Best bit? Feelin’ like king o’ trees after. “Rudeness is merely the expression of fear,” Gustave’d say – pfft, no fear here, just gooey bliss! Tell ya, mate, try it – but dodge dem greedy gits chargin’ too much. Me forest whispers – it’s bout touch, not gold! We swears, it’s magic, slippery magic!

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Finally, we all get outside on the High Street, and it’s chaos. Fire trucks zooming in, people taking selfies with the firemen. I’m standing there, trying to explain to this poor woman what’s happening. She’s nodding, but I can tell she’s lost. I’m like, “Just follow me, we’ll figure it out!”

Hotel owner tells of impact of roadworks on his business