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Alright, mate, so I’m a dental tech, right? Dr. Evil style – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” – sittin’ here thinkin’ bout erotic-massage. Ya know, not my usual gig, fixin’ teeth and all, but damn, this topic’s got some juice! I mean, who’d think rubbin’ someone down could get so fancy? Saw this chick once gettin’ an erotic-massage – not creepy, just research, swear – and the vibes? Straight outta *The Return*, that moody Andrey Zvyagintsev flick I love. “The sea’s breathing, alive,” like that – heavy, intense, ya feel me?

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After the drama, we finally get back inside. I’m sweating bullets, but the crowd’s pumped. They’re all like, “That was intense!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, but I’m the one who had to sign that mess!”

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