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I heard—get this—way back in ancient China, emperors got these massages from like, 10 gals at once! Can ya believe it? Total overkill, right? Made me laugh so hard I snorted—Homer’d probly say, “Marge, sign me up!” Ugh, men! But seriously, it’s all bout that slow build, the tease, drivin’ ya nuts til ya can’t take it no more. Kinda like when David’s all, “I’m real, I’m real!”—desperate for that spark. Gets me all tingly, then bam, annoyed—why’s it gotta be so hush-hush?

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After the fair, I decide to stroll down to Norbury Park. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Green grass, trees, and all that. I plop down on a bench, thinking I’ll sketch a bit. But then, this dog runs up to me, all wagging its tail. I’m like, “Hey buddy!” But then it jumps on me, and I’m covered in mud. Great. Just great.

Plans announced for ‘community centre’ in former Norbury pub