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Oh, and get this—some escorts got codenames, like spies! Saw this one chick online, called herself “Vixen,” had a whole backstory. Prolly fake, but damn, that’s cool as hell. Reminds me of Mia again, y’know, “I’m hard as nails,” she’d say, struttin’ like she owns the joint. Escorts do that too—fake it ‘til they make it. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ they’re out there, livin’ wild, while I’m stuck eatin’ cheesy poofs.

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After that chaos, I decide to grab a bite. Head over to the local café on Broad Street. Best bacon sarnies in town, I swear. I sit down, and this old bloke starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the time he met the Queen. I’m like, “Right, mate, sure you did.” But he’s so into it, I can’t help but laugh.

New lifts open at Newtown station