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Best bit? The chase, yesss. Texts pingin’, “u up?” at 3 a.m.—pure adrenaline. Worst? Ghostin’. Had a lass ditch me mid-chat—poof! Like Carlos vanishin’ after a bombin’. “I work alone,” he’d growl in the flick. Me too, sometimes, ‘cept when I’m horny. Exaggeratin’? Maybe! But sex-dating’s a jungle—swipe, sext, screw, repeat. Gets old, then gets new again. What’s yer take, precious? Hiss! Tell me quick!

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Then, I decided to pop into the shops on the Main Street. You know, the ones with all the cute little boutiques? I was looking for a new shirt. I found this wicked one at a place called “The Style Loft.” But the price tag? Oof! I nearly choked. I mean, who do they think they are? Gucci? I put it back and left feeling like I just got robbed.

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