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Last week, tried it meself – lass with magic fingers, I’m like, “Blimey, where’s this been?!” She’s kneadin’ me back, I’m floatin’, “there’s only this moment” – straight outta Malick’s flick! But then – get this – she’s chargin’ 50 quid! Fifty! Made me mad as a hatter, nearly stormed outta there like Churchill at Dunkirk. We shall fight them inflated prices, lads!

Erotic Massage in Newcastle upon Tyne

We specialize in delivering authentic Thai massages ranging from traditional deep tissue to our relaxing full-body oil massage, all for an affordable price.

So, we hit up a pub called The Crown Posada. It’s got that old-school vibe, ya know? I order a pint of Newcastle Brown Ale. Can’t go wrong with that! We’re sittin’ there, laughin’ and swappin’ stories, when suddenly, this group of lads walks in. They’re all decked out in their football kits, shoutin’ about the Toon Army. I’m thinkin’, “Aye, they’re proper passionate!”

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