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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m a diver, divin’ deep into this sex escort biz, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. Like in *Certified Copy*—you know, my fave flick—“She’s not my wife, she’s a copy!”—it’s all about what’s real and what aint. Sex escorts? Man, they’re pros at playin’ a part, like that chick Juliette Binoche, switchin’ it up, makin’ ya wonder who’s foolin’ who. Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice, well, we ain’t gonna be fooled again, right?

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So, I sit down, and we start going through the numbers. I’m trying to focus, but my mind keeps wandering. I’m thinking about that new sushi place on the corner of Coombe Road. I heard it’s amazing! But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Sam. He’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in a meeting!” But he keeps texting. Turns out, he saw a cat stuck in a tree. A CAT! In New Malden! I can’t even.

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