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Oi mate, it’s me, James Bond – suave, “Shaken, not stirred.” So, we’re chattin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah? Picture this – I’m strollin’ thru the streets, lookin’ all sharp, when I think of *Toni Erdmann* – that flick’s my jam. That bit where he says, “Life’s just a big performance,” hits me hard. Findin’ a prossie’s like that – all a bloody act, innit?

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I rush over, thinkin’ I might need to help. But nah, he’s just layin’ there, laughin’ like a madman. “I’m fine, mate!” he shouts. I’m like, “You sure? You look like a right mess!” He just grins and gets up, dusts himself off, and rides away. I’m standin’ there, thinkin’, “Only in New-Cross, man.”

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