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Yo, man, it’s Apollo Creed talkin’ – “I must break you.” Check it, findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, alright? Been thinkin’ bout this, like Chihiro lost in that freaky spirit world from *Spirited Away*. You know, “I’m not afraid of anything!” – bullshit, man, I was sweatin’ first time I scoped one out. Streets hummin’, shady corners, it’s like steppin’ into that bathhouse with all them weird-ass spirits. Gotta keep your head sharp, tho.

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So, I’m wanderin’ around, and I bump into my mate Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s tellin’ me about this time he tried to surf at Netley Beach. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t even swim!” He just laughs and says, “Yeah, but I looked good tryin’!” Classic Dave.

Leprechauns, Egyptian queens and Trump hit New Forest carnival