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About Leicester

So, where d’ya start? Streets, obviously—grimy corners, flickering lights. Saw this one bird, right, legs like a giraffe, tottering in heels. Thought, “She’s gotta be one!” Nope, just a drunk lass from the pub. Waste of my bloody time! Fuming, I was—hate amateurs clogging the system. Reminds me of Lil’ Zé screaming, “Who’s laughing now, huh?” Nobody, mate, cos I’m still skint and horny.

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I’m fuming, but whatever. I take a sip, and it’s actually not bad. Maybe I’ll survive this day after all. So, I head over to the park on the corner of Neilston Road. It’s a nice spot, you know? Kids runnin’ around, dogs chasing their tails. I sit on a bench, tryin’ to chill, but then I see this guy, right? He’s walkin’ his cat on a leash. A CAT! Who does that? I mean, I love cats, but c’mon, man.

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