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Still, happy vibes—mate of mine souped his up, twin carbs, loud as a mod party! Took it for a spin, wind in me hair, felt like a king. “Why do I feel juvenile?” I’m thinkin’, like I’m 12 again, nickin’ sweets! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but that Escort’s a time machine, baby—takes ya back to flared trousers and free love. Smashing little secret? Early models had no power steerin’—arm workout just to park, ha! Total comedy, wrestlin’ it like a geezer on a bender.

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Then, bam! The fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “Seriously? In the middle of a Friday night?” Everyone’s lookin’ around, confused. I’m tryin’ to keep it cool, but inside, I’m fumin’. We all pile out onto the street, and it’s still pouring. I’m standin’ there, soaked to the bone, watchin’ the fire brigade roll up. Turns out it was just a false alarm. Typical Mottingham, right?

Mottingham shoplifter raided BP garage 30 times stealing over £6,000 of goods