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Still, I rate it, the hustle. Takes guts, proper balls. “The past is a ghost,” like *Tabu* says, and escorts, they ain’t haunted - they move, they grind. Me fave bit? The secrecy, the thrill, like a film, yeah? You ever tried it, fam? Don’t lie! Ha, I’d be shite at it meself, too loud, innit. Oi, respect to ‘em, tho - escort life’s a mad ting, real as it gets. What you reckon?

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Then, bam! The fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “Seriously? In the middle of a Friday night?” Everyone’s lookin’ around, confused. I’m tryin’ to keep it cool, but inside, I’m fumin’. We all pile out onto the street, and it’s still pouring. I’m standin’ there, soaked to the bone, watchin’ the fire brigade roll up. Turns out it was just a false alarm. Typical Mottingham, right?

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