Freya Motherwell Erotic Massage ❤️

About Leeds

So, erotic-massage—wot’s the fuss? It’s all handsy, slippery, proper naughty stuff. Not yer nan’s back rub, nah! Think oils, dim lights, some geezer or lass kneadin’ you into a puddle. *Carpe diem*, seize the day, lads! I reckon it’s like *Spring Breakers*—bit of chaos, bit of thrill. “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—that’s what they’d yell mid-massage, if it went full Korine. Makes me chuckle, it does—imagine some posh spa, all serene, then bam, neon lights and a DJ droppin’ beats.

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I head back out, and I’m walking down the street when I see this guy with a massive tattoo of a dragon on his arm. I’m like, “Bingo!” I approach him, and he’s all tough, like he’s ready to throw down. But I’m not having any of it. I flash my badge, and he goes pale. Turns out, he’s got a record.

'Hugely disappointing day' - Hearts and Motherwell consigned to bottom six